Taking a pregnancy test is terrifying regardless of the result. I can say I sat on the toilet for a solid 10 minutes in complete and utter shock while looking down and seeing the daunting double lines. It's a moment that I expected to come a few years later in life, after marriage and having a secure job. Not when I'm 19 soon to be 20.
Once the idea of it all had sunk in I was excited, still terrified but the thought of having a baby is always going to make you smile regardless of how fearful you are of bringing a new life into the world. Daniel was more than supportive and it only made me feel better about the whole situation. I am scared about giving birth which I'm sure should not be at the fore front of my fears this early on. Even though its the most natural thing possible, I'm still not convinced it will feel that way when I feel like I'm being ripped in two half's. I'm sure having a little baby will be extremely rewarding regardless of the pain. I'm also terrified that something will go wrong as there is always that chance with every birth/pregnancy.
I'm determined to make this whole experience extremely positive and I don't want any negativity around me or my baby. Having a child and starting your own family definitely shows you who your true friends are and who is gonna be there for you when you need someone to talk to. It's sad cutting people out of your life but negative people are only gonna make you feel negative and negativity is not what you need when you're at this stage in your life.
In terms of how I feel physically, I feel awful the majority of the time... Morning sickness should be renamed asap to all day everyday sickness. The most annoying thing about it is that I spend the whole day thinking that I'm going to be sick and feeling like I'm going to be sick with the classic watery mouth but I'm never sick. If I actually managed to throw up I would maybe feel better but instead I just have that spewy feeling hanging over me the whole day.
All in all I am excited for this new chapter and I am glad I have support from friends, family and of course the daddy to be. It will be one hell of an adventure and being a young mum will most probably end up being the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Over and out
Goodnight
Amber Elizzy
xoxo
